Let's talk about martial arts and conflict resolution..

Over the years I have heard from many people about the concept of “conflict resolution”. It seems that dealing with conflict happens quite often in today’s society, more than we would like to admit or care to realize. Let’s first examine and understand what a conflict is.

Conflict, as defined, can be either a noun or a verb. The noun defines it as “a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one”. The verb usage states “be incompatible or at variance; clash”. When it comes to actually dealing with conflict in a person’s life the martial arts has many more levels that have to be addressed. In my dojo I have simplified into the following categories:

External Physical: This is the typical type of conflict people think of that involves some sort physical altercation such as a fight, domestic abuse situation or other things of that nature.

External Verbal: When we often think of bullying this type of conflict comes to mind. Bullying can escalate into External Physical but the majority of the time it is verbal taunting, belittling or simply heightened arguments between two people.

Internal Physical: This is our physical status of health area. If we are sick we are dealing with a conflict against an internal threat. Items in this category include cancer, diabetes and other health related issues that impact our lives negatively.

Internal Emotional / Mental: This is the state when we have external circumstances that have led to an internal conflict. A prime example is when a person feels inadequate due to being told they are ugly or worthless. Sometimes this aspect of conflict is also brought upon the individual by their own doing such as being a perfectionist (which I am guilty of more often than not).

Within these four types of conflict exists multiple layers where they can overlap or be caused to expand into one another. For example; a person begins berating another one. This makes the person upset and they feel very negative based on what has been said. This was an example of how an External Verbal overlapped / created an Internal Emotional / Mental state.

In the martial arts we teach our students more than just how to kick someone’s butt. Many people, even today, don’t seem to grasp these concepts about those who study martial arts. I could go on for hours about the reasons why the general public hasn’t come to terms with this but I won’t, except to state that the popularity of combat sports such as the UFC series has built the aspect of what I call the “sports warrior” mentality. In order to better understand how we teach students to deal with conflict I will have to take you on a short journey from beginner to long time practitioner. As I realize most of you will not want to read a lengthy blog post about this I will keep it short and to the point.

People of all ages and walks of life enroll in martial arts for a myriad of reasons. Regardless many of them aren’t sure what they are getting into nor have any true understanding of the process of training. The beginner student has a concept in their mind what the martial arts are thanks, in large, to media (movies, TV, etc.). They come in and put on the Gi and start to train having no real idea why they are doing it regardless for their reasons to join a school. The white belt has no skills and aren’t even sure how to learn so we begin the process by establishing etiquette and building their ability to listen properly. It is during this phase of the training that we also set about to build their spirit through physical training and discipline. The spirit we are discussing is a deep part of our body that will either “flight or fight” when faced with any type of conflict in life.  According to Walter Bradford Cannon (a well-known physiologist) we all have the ability to fight when challenged or to run when we face one. At one time it was thought that this aspect of our spirit could not be changed because we are born with these certain genes that trigger the response. We now know that this is not factual however the condition does exist and is triggered by many experiences we have growing through life. In the martial arts we take time to train a student to be aware of this aspect and how to determine the best avenue to deal with a potential or verifiable threat in their presence. This is known as acute stress conditioning and we achieve it mostly once the student has developed the ability to learn and condition their body through being a beginner.

At the intermediate phase of the training it will get tougher and more demanding on the student. They will be in a more contact training environment where they are experimenting with what works against an attack and what doesn’t. Their training at this level is pointed to building automatic responses against various threats from verbal all the way to physical. They are pushed to strengthen their ability to defend against an attacker as well as train harder to condition their body for such a situation if it were to occur. The intermediate phase of one’s training if where a transformation begins to take place and confidence begins to grow. The student builds confidence because they are seeing the results of the hard work as well as getting very good physical shape. Another aspect of training takes place at this point that I like to refer to as the “feel good” phase. The feel good phase is where a student begins the process of stopping to look outward for acceptance from others and starts to look inward. During this phase they quickly realize that what other people say towards them in a negative manner (external verbal) has no actual bearing on who they are as a person. This is a level of conflict resolution that assists people in ignoring the little things to focus on the bigger picture in life.

During the advanced stage of training the student begins to see everything in a new light. They are physically fit, focused and more prone to not be bothered by several types of conflict. They are confident that if an External Physical conflict would occur they could handle themselves very well and do what is necessary to walk away safe and sound, even if that response requires physically harming the attacker. Confidence grows at this stage as does one’s understanding of how other people’s negative actions truly have no bearing on their goals. The student begins to transform into someone that carries themselves in a manner that makes them less of a target for bullies and attackers through the abilities they have gain in training. Sadly many drop out of training at this stage before achieving a lifelong benefit that the long term practitioner of the martial arts gets.

In the lifelong student this state becomes solidified into the actual character of the individual through their training. Once it is instilled into their character it is automatic and responses are determined quickly and effectively when facing any type of conflict. They are more in tune with their mind and bodies to deal with health issues as well as their physical abilities to deal with self-defense situations. Throughout the entire field of training they have been learning the most effective form of conflict resolution known to man and this is why martial arts training are one of the most popular activities today for people of all ages.

When dealing with conflict a martial artist is always to determine if it is necessary to fight or if they can simply walk away. During this process the mind goes into overload on most individuals but a martial artist, through their training, has been conditioned to handle the elevated levels of stress and focus on the objective clearly. We achieve this through disciplined and hard training in classes. The repetitive nature of the martial arts builds almost super human reaction levels to a physical attack which increase the ability of the individual to survive an encounter. A properly trained martial artist will be able to remain calm in the face of danger and make split second decisions that can result in the best outcome to keep them, and the ones they love, safe from harm. Through the building of confidence martial artists are less likely to engage in a conflict, be it a verbal or physical issue, because they simply have no reason to “show off” their skills or prove anything to someone trying to goad them into a fight. While others may construe this as weakness it isn’t. In reality it is their way of saving the person who is negatively acting towards them from a solid butt kicking.

We have all heard the statement “Karate is for defense only” and that means we must train to know the difference of when it is appropriate to use our skills and when it is not necessary at all. We also train to be ready for any type of encounter at any time through diligent study in the dojo. As we grow, our skills grow and progress to levels where we simply do not care to prove anything to a bully but how we can smile and walk away knowing they are insecure and a won’t ever amount to much unless they change their ways. We have a saying in the martial arts that goes like this “Karate ni sente hashi”. This is typically translated to mean “There is no first attack in Karate” but it has a much deeper meaning than simply what it states. By teaching there is no first attack in what we do we are not conditioning our students to be weak. We are conditioning them to determine if they have to harm the person across from them or not. One of the first aspects of learning how to successfully deal with conflict is to determine the course of action needed to resolve it safely. Karate teaches this but also gives the student the ability to be physical if that is the course of action needed.

Martial art training also helps us to deal with all sorts of internal conflicts as well. Through the training a student will learn to seek a balance of the body (physical), the mind (mental state) and the spirit (willpower) so they are at peace with both themselves and the outside influences they encounter in the world during day to day living. Over the years I cannot even count the number of times I have had a student come into the dojo who just had a terrible day only to see them smiling on their way home after classes are over. Martial art training alleviates stresses found in the common day thus helping us to stay more focused and healthy. The training also builds successful habits because you feel good about achieving the goals such as earning a new belt or learning a new Kata.

In the United States we still haven’t grasped all the wonderful benefits of martial arts training because people simply are not sure what it is. Some see it as the violent sports on television, like MMA/UFC while others think it is some sort of religious cult activity. In reality it is neither of those when you train with a good instructor, in an authentic system of Karate and at a dojo with experience. We also train sporadically here in the United States. A student typically will hit the dojo for classes twice a week but expect the same results as those who have learned that daily training is the best format. In Okinawa it is well known that people train almost every day and some do seven days a week. They do this because it is part of their way of life (if they train Karate) and how they seek to stay healthy, focused and centered. When a student only trains a couple of times a week they won’t gain the same benefits nor the solid conflict resolution that one who trains four to five days a week will. It is also very common in our society today to quit something we begin which leads to the deduction of skill and reduction of ability to handle ourselves, feel good about ourselves and deal with the conflicts found in everyday living.

Conflict resolution is a topic every good martial art school teaches but it is best learned in the traditional martial arts that don’t focus on the sport aspects as their mainstay. Traditional martial art schools have an environment to them that is positive and where everyone can fit in, regardless of their ability or skill levels. They are also ruled by etiquette and traditions that make everyone equal because they are all there to learn the same skills. Through a supportive environment, like those found in a good dojo, along with the discipline development conflict resolution becomes second nature to the student. It becomes an aspect that they no longer dread and can deal with in a positive manner thus improving their way of life and those of the people they love around them.

In my lifetime I have been in job positions where I have had to deal with conflict on a daily basis. Be it when I was a bouncer, a correctional officer or a body guard my martial arts training always kept me safe, able to determine the proper course of action and often resulted in job promotions. I learned that, no matter how tough I may think I am, one simple mistake can lead to serious harm or legal action. Through my martial arts training I was able to think quickly on my feet and determine the appropriate course of action for all kinds of situations that would happen in life. Be it a bully, a rude co-worker, an ego maniac or even just a person who thinks Karate is a joke it all came down to how I dealt with it. My training gave me the confidence to ignore the haters, to be who I am and to grow into a strong person that doesn’t need to smack a person down to prove a point.

Recently, while I was at a high school reunion, there was a belligerent drunk there. This is someone I know, a person whom I had to throw out of a bar over and over I worked at many years ago and he was very obnoxious to say the least. Regardless he didn’t remember me nor did he bother me but I watched him bother many others. When he turned his attention to me I shook his hand, looked him right in the eye and said I know who you are. He sat there quietly and eventually got up from the table and walked away without saying a word. Later on he was in the bar area at the club were at bragging about being a brown belt in martial arts and how tough he was, etc. People came over and told me about it as if it would bother me. Did it bother me? A little bit because, had he been a real brown belt, he wouldn’t be going around bragging about it but I ignored it. The reason why I ignored it is because he would never learn even if he got beaten up. He was one of those “types” of people so there is no point in bothering with him and it is always best to ignore them and walk away. Some people cannot be taught a lesson through physical altercations and they will never learn the error of their ways.

Conflict resolution was in play that night. I didn’t avoid this person but I wasn’t going to let his ignorance bother me either. When he did turn his attention to me I shook his hand confidently while giving him the look, straight in the eye, letting him know I am not easy mark nor to be trifled with (something you gain in martial arts training). When he progressed to bragging about his “martial arts” skills I ignore it because I knew he was lying plus he wouldn’t learn anything from getting smacked down. I also knew if I got into an altercation with him I could end up in jail which is something to avoid all together since I am in a leadership role where children look up to me in my dojo. This is the process of conflict resolution and all occurred within a very quick amount of time. Thanks to my martial arts training I was able to handle it effectively and positively…and no one got harmed.

What's In a Belt?

Kind of a confusing title isn’t it? We all know that a Karate belt (Obi) is made of cotton, has several layers with an outside layer that has been dyed a certain rank color and includes stitching. So you may wonder why I would pick such an obvious title for this blog post. Let me begin by saying that an Obi is much more than just the piece of cloth you wear around your waist to hold your gi shut. For many people the belt is a symbol of achievement. A marking of their hard work, sacrifice and effort as it pays off. As they progress in their study of Karate the belt will change colors. On this journey to the all inspiring “black belt” most students have witnessed their lives change right before their eyes. They are more confident, stronger, more focused and able to face challenges they would have ran away from in the past.

Now that we have cleared that up let’s talk plainly about the Karate belt, or Obi as it is called in its proper context. Without going into a long, drawn out history of the use of the Obi it is safe to know that Jigoro Kano, the founder of Judo, was the first to implement a belt system in the martial arts. Kano Sensei recognized a need to split his students into groups based on their abilities, knowledge and time in training. Gichin Funakoshi, the founder of Shotokan Karate, used this belt system in Karate when he moved to Japan to popularize his system of martial art. The Okinawa Karate community took much longer to begin using the belt ranking system but eventually did so.

In the beginning we had only three belts. It was very simple. White denoted a beginner or novice student. Brown denoted a student with intermediate level of ability and knowledge. Black was given to those who had gained a strong foundation and developed their skills to great lengths. So there it was, very easy…white, brown and black. Over time other colors were added into the mix such as Yellow and Green. Today it is not uncommon to find as many as 10 to 15 different colors of belt before black is achieved in many dojo. The thought process behind this was to have a step level to entice students to train longer because they can see their progress through the different colors of belts. In short, people need to be rewarded for their efforts so more belt colors were added.

When I began training we had white, yellow, green, brown and black colors for belts. Over the years I trained a blue was added in and then eventually orange and red colors. Our current belt structure is white, orange, blue, green, purple, brown and black with varying levels of tape in between. The structure is noted as the Kyu / Dan grading platform. Below black belt a student is a Kyu and at black belt and above they are a Dan rank. We have 10 Kyu ranks below our first level of Dan called Shodan.

Over the years I have wanted to take my belt system back to the way it was when I began training. We all wore a white belt. After our first belt exam we would dip the tip in yellow dye. Then we would take another exam and dip the other tip in the dye. Then we would take another exam and the entire belt would be dyed yellow. We did this with our yellow belt to green and then again with our green to brown. The only time we were given a new belt was when we outgrew it. That would happen back then because it took a very long time to progress through the ranks. Some of my students and peers think that is a great idea but then I remember how badly my newly dyed belt would stain my uniform so I get away from that idea. It also took a few days for the dye to dry out before we could wear the Obi again and since we have classes four to six days a week in most dojo that makes it impossible.

The belt colors are there to help the Sensei determine what a student should be able to do as well as what they are ready to learn. Karate is a step process. No one can rush through it if they want to actually learn it. This being said, in my dojo, students are always learning one more belt up from the next rank they are preparing to take an exam for. I do this so they understand that they must always be learning and studying their art. The belt exams in my dojo are a bit old school, so to speak. Students will perform many exercises, all the Kata required for previous and current rank as well as the entire syllabus of Kihon denoted to the rank they wish to achieve. Add in self defense combatives and several Kumite matches and you have a very hard exam…even for beginners. I have had visiting black belts tell me my exams are too hard or “will scare away” students but I feel the exact opposite…it will push them, build them and only the ones who can step up to challenge will graduate to the next belt level. It makes me sad when I watch people take a belt exam and barely break a sweat or are hardly challenged to go a step higher than they are capable of.

Since we have walked down memory lane and my open ramblings on this subject let me get to meat of the topic at hand…What’s in a belt? While I cannot speak for other people I am capable of sharing what my belt means to me. I wear a ragged, old black belt with fraying sides. It has quite a bit of white showing through the black colored cover. This is my 3^rd black belt I have ever owned and the other two have fallen apart to the point I can no longer wear them at all. Over all the years I have trained I have cried, sweat, passed out, been knocked out, broken a few bones and jammed all my fingers and toes. I have bled many times but no matter what happened, no matter how much I was injured I got up and kept moving forward. As a Sensei I have given up so much just to build and have a dojo to teach in that most people think I am completely weird. When I put on my belt I am wrapping around me a symbol of all that I have struggled through and achieved in my life. It is more than a piece of cloth…it represents my journey on this martial arts path. It is not just something I treat with the utmost dignity and respect it is something that I use as a tool to remind me what it took to get me this far and how far I have yet to travel. It is part of me like my arm, my foot and my mind. My Obi is my heart and my love for the art of Karate-Do. It is more than just something I have to wear out of tradition. When it is not around my waist it is folded up neatly and placed safely where I will never lose it. It is my belt and it is a symbol of my life. That’s what my Obi means to me.

So, those of you reading this, think twice next time before you walk up and grab a black belts Obi. Those of you training think about this before you get one just by paying a fee. Those of you in martial arts think about this before you believe you are entitled to any sort of rank what so ever. Remember that integrity, honor, commitment and discipline are not just words to a real martial artist but they are their entire way of life. This is what is in a belt…earn yours the right way.

Mouthpieces and Cups...

The title to this article seems more interesting than the purpose behind it but I just had to share some thoughts from over the years of being a martial arts competitor, teacher and official at events. When I was a young boy studying the martial arts we were required to wear a cup, groin protection, at all times during classes. This was not open to discussion, not up to us nor anyone else...it was required because the groin was definitely a target for training. We also wore far less gear back then than we do today but we were always required to have a mouthpiece in to spar and even grapple.

Now this may seem like common sense to many but believe it or not I have had to disqualify quite a few kids who either didn't have groin protection or a mouthpiece...or both in the past couple of years. While this may seem trivial to some, to me it is anything but. When I was a youngster I was kicked in the groin so hard that it actually caused some damage. This damage was through a cup that I just threw in my gi without a supporter because...yup...you guessed it I had failed to bring one. Up until that day I often failed to put my groin protection on when sparring but from that day forward, and after the immense pain, embarrassment and three month recovery process I have never forgotten my cup nor allow anyone to compete without it. The same goes for the mouthpiece as well.

When a student competes in a martial arts event they have to pay attention to the rules because the best judges will know them inside and out. Before I begin any kumite division I always ask if they have a cup (boys) and mouthpiece. I want to see the mouthpiece. It never ceases to amaze me that there is always about 10% of the competitors that don't have the proper equipment. So I give them five minutes at max to go get the required items and return the ring. Sadly there are times that they don't come back but I hear about it later because the parent always throws a fit.

OK...so first let me explain something about that parent issue. My JOB as a judge is to insure the safety of ALL competitors, not just one but all of them. I require all to have the proper gear to compete based on the rules set forth at the event. If your child doesn't have the proper gear then you, as well as the child, have failed to be prepared for the event...not me, not the promoter nor any other judge that day. It is your responsibility to make sure your children have the correct items required to compete, not the judges. I can understand junior not wanting to wear a cup because I teach Karate to kids everyday. Most kids don't like them because they are not comfortable. In my dojo I have a saying..."If you fail to wear the cup then you are responsible for what will, and does, happen to you". 

Parents, Sensei (teachers) and students please make sure you understand and know the required rules for tournaments, bring the proper gear and be prepared. This is a message not just to my own students but to ALL students who compete at events. When you don't have the equipment you hold up the division making the day go longer (which none of us want). It causes problems and when a judge gets on you or disqualifies you for not having the required gear be responsible enough to understand it was YOUR FAULT to begin with...not anyone else's. This is part of being a martial artist and all of us should learn this lesson in our dojos each day. We are responsible for every single action / decision we make...no one else is and we, as martial artists, must take the responsibility to fix the problem...not shove the blame of issue off on another.

It is tough to be this way as a judge and I can promise you that none of us at ANY martial arts event wants to disqualify anyone because they failed to be prepared but we would all rather do that to protect your safety than watch you end up injured (in terms of the groin the injury can, and often is permanent). So next time I get on a student at a tournament for not having a cup or mouthpiece take the issue out on your own self instead of me. I am a volunteer who has given up a day that I would rather be out, enjoying the weekend with others and such things...so please remember that. I don't get paid to judge and often times I travel at my own expense to be there which costs way more than your entry fee. Thanks and remember in martial arts we teach responsibility...that includes taking the blame for our own faults as well. 

Sensei...why are you so strict?

During classes this past week I went a bit old school in terms of discipline on the students. Pushups were handed out, distractions were removed from training and I pushed them to focus and train hard. After the class was over I had a parent contact me saying their child told them I "was mean" in class that night.

First off I wasn't mean. Very few of my students have ever seen me mad or in a mean state of mind. I rarely, if ever lose my temper because I am in a leadership role and I don't want my students to see that side of me nor grow up thinking "If Sensei did it then it's OK to do it". I explained to the parent that part of what I teach is discipline. The other part is respect. This is Karate, not PE class, not soccer and not any other sport...it is a martial art. This particular parent enrolled their child for this very reason, to gain discipline and respect. It was a very pleasant conversation and one that I have had many times over the years because people who do not train martial arts do not understand the culture of the dojo.

The culture in a good dojo is not subject for debate nor is it like anything else in the USA. Today kids are coddled and they simply are not taught the meaning behind phrases such as "You must first earn respect to get it" and many others. In this process they often misconstrue and bend phrases as well as quotes to suit their own personal agenda which is ethically wrong. Martial Arts training must be strict but it doesn't need to be like going to military school. A good Sensei is straight to the point, controls the environment of the class and maintains order / discipline....yet we all like to have fun too. Chances are if you get dropped for pushups for not listening or not focusing it is a GOOD reminder to do so. It is a Karate dojo, not your play time and we are not here to babysit you. We are here to teach you Karate and that requires focus and discipline. Without those two things people always do get hurt. Our goal is to keep you safe so you can keep training but Karate is a contact environment so injuries can occur. Regardless it is 10x safer than playing most other contact sports such as football or wrestling. 

The culture of the dojo is just like stepping out of America and into Okinawa. The Sensei speaks and you listen, watch and learn. Respect is demanded by the instructors because they have already been through what you are expected to go through and accomplished it. They have earned respect and once a person earns it, only they can destroy it or lose it through their actions. The phrase "You must first earn respect to get it" filters up, not down. Many people use this to tell people who have already earned respect that they don't deserve it or haven't earned it from their point of view but that is a FALSE claim. We all know and remember that kid in school who never respected their teachers, was always in trouble and was, for lack of a better term, a punk. They never could understand why no one respected them. The ones I remember from school all ended up in jail because they never understood how respect works. In the dojo respect is given to your instructors and the people who are higher rank than you regardless of your personal feelings, and ideas on the matter. They have already earned it and you need to. Over the 24 years I have taught I have dealt with many students and parents who failed to understand this. It has led to some very stupid situations such as having to throw students out of my school as well as physically throw abusive parents out too. Those are situations I am not proud of because I would rather help everyone to learn but some people just can't get over their own small world to see the bigger picture.

Within the walls of the dojo the Sensei is in charge. It has always been this way. I have visited some schools where the Sensei was trying to be a "buddy" to all their students instead of being a teacher. I watched in horror over the years as they destroyed their schools from the inside out. Sure they grew some good sized schools but eventually they lost all their students because they couldn't control the classes nor the training. It was much more like playtime than martial arts training time. Discipline simply wasn't controlled so it never existed in their schools. 

To be a leader one must understand the role involved with it. It is not easy and it is very demanding. Often a leader will have to make decisions based on what is good for the entire dojo over the single student and that can be heart wrenching but is necessary to insure the quality, integrity and longevity of the school. All students are held to same standard. If a Sensei states something is mandatory then it is. That helps a student to learn respecting their senior's wishes and understanding they are NOT in charge, the Sensei is. Regardless of the reason a student misses a mandatory function they are always disciplined because accountability is a huge part of learning honor. Typically the only thing that is excusable to miss such a function is illness or a death in a family. 

It is very hard to teach Karate today and we typically spend the entire first year just trying to break through walls and bad habits instilled by society in order to help program the student how to actually learn. It seems that instilling the willpower to learn and study is not being taught today in the public education system like it used to be. I saw a cartoon on Facebook once (even think I shared it) that showed a set of parents scolding their child for getting bad grades in the 1980's and then another set of parents yelling at the teacher because their child got a bad grade in current times. This is very true from my standpoint as a teacher. I have had parents blame me for their child not being ready to test up a rank or losing in a tournament when in FACT it was the student's inability to train and prepare that lead to their failure. Martial arts training is not a hand holding, walk you through everything environment. We teach and provide the materials, you study, train, memorize and perfect the art. That is how it is. Your ability to promote or move up is based on your effort and improvement, not your Sensei's. Your Sensei walked the same path you are on and that is how they learned as much as they did and got so good at the art they teach. When a student fails to study the program materials and train them then it is their failure, not the instructors. We give you the tools but you have to work them to grow successful. This is the same way life is. If you want to be anything great in life you have to understand this concept. No one is responsible for your failures but YOUR OWN SELF regardless of what excuse you come up with to try and justify it.

Imagine if Thomas Edison would have just kept making excuses each time a light bulb blew up on him. We wouldn't have had light like we do today. Imagine if George Washington would have just made excuses each time he lost a battle in the Revolutionary War and blame that on others. We probably would have lost the war and I can promise you he would never have become the 1st President of the USA! These are just some of the many examples I teach in the dojo when I hear people blaming others for their failures. Learning Karate is NEEDED today for kids of all ages. It is easy to learn and teaches much more than just physical skills but only if you find a good dojo where the instructor can relate life experiences to the students to help them inside and outside of the dojo. One of the things I always tell my students is "when you got hit in the face during sparring whose fault was it" to which I get all sorts of answers but rarely the right one. The right answer is "it's yours because you failed to block". It really is that simple. If you are training and you get hit a lot then you need to take time to practice, study and learn how to block effectively. Many of my students hear about my early years in training. I got beat up a lot, hit a lot and showed bruises, bloody noses and lips for the effort to learn. Eventually, over the years of training, I became very adept at blocking and not getting hit. I learned this from the best teacher out there...experience. Experience comes from guidance and training. Your Sensei guides you and you train it to get good at it...not the other way around.

Parent please remember that the culture of the dojo has to be supported. Follow the etiquette rules and courtesy rules of the dojo when there. This helps your children to grow and improve everyday. Arguing or saying you don't agree with certain things makes our job harder. We want to help your child. That is exactly why we, the black belts, have spent years perfecting our skills at teaching...to help others! We didn't do it for fame, fortune or glory...we did it because we wanted others to get the awesome benefits out of martial arts that it gave each of us. As my Sensei always said to me "Sometimes you won't agree with me but eventually you will understand why it is the way I said it is to be". As always train hard and see you in the dojo!

Undervalued idiosyncrasies…

Being a martial arts instructor I get to travel a lot to seminars, tournaments and events where many of the area’s top school owners often are in attendance. Recently I had one of them ask me how I can keep a school going and teach full time in such a small, out of the way and rural area as Bryan, Ohio. To be quite honest it has been a challenge many times over the years but I always find a way. Small rural towns like the one I live in deserve a good, top quality martial arts program. There is no question about that beingtrue. The hardest part is that people often fail to perceive the proper value of what we do because of many reasons.

When I moved my dojo to Bryan in 2001 I was employed full time and only taught in my basement. Although I have only lived here since then I grew up in this area all my life. Over the years Bryan has had many martial arts schools. They were part time schools and most of them were taught in rundown buildings, old buildings or at the YMCA. There is nothing wrong with that but apart time school is just a hobby for the instructor most of the time and when it isn’t panning out the way they want it to soon that school is found shutdown with little or no warning. This happened to me as well. I spent four years training at school I really liked only to have the Sensei close up shop and move away for better job prospects. It was hard on me and I had to change to a different school and different martial art all together.

The other issue is most people think that quality and professional martial arts instruction is cheap or not worth much. The main reason for this is they have no idea about how long it takes to become a qualified instructor, the amount of sweat, tears, blood and more that goes into learning how to teach others…not to mention one’s own training. Most martial artists train as a hobby but for the professional ones it is a way of life that invest in constantly to grow their education and improve their ability to help others through quality teaching. Finding an excellent and qualified martial arts instructor is not common place even though there are schools everywhere.Not all schools teach quality martial arts nor are professional. People are often in shock when I explain that I have spent more money on my martial arts education than most Doctors or Lawyers do for theirs. The investment that is put into becoming a top notch martial arts instructor is NOT cheap but people seem to think it should be when they want to pay for classes. This, to me, is rude and disrespectful to the trade.

Quality martial arts training doesn’t have to super expensive but it won’t be super cheap either. Those top school owners I mentioned earlier all yell at me constantly when I tell them I only charge $69a month for beginners to learn at my dojo. They all know me and my abilities so I get the “You should be charging $125 plus a month minimum” comeback from them.  While I realize that in the bigger cities that may be possible I just don’t think rural towns like Bryan can handle those prices. I also want everyone who truly would like to learn a martial art to be able to do so. This is why my pricing is at a perfect point.It is not so low that Bryan, Ohio cannot have a top level professional martialarts program but it is not so high that people cannot afford it either.

Recently we had a parent who was inquiring about classes at the dojo. When he was asked why he wanted to enroll his child his response was “for something to do”. This really bothered me because that meant this parent had absolutely no idea all the  incredible life benefits children gain from martial arts training nor what martial arts was about to begin with. When given the pricing this parent kept pushing for a discount and complaining but yet they drove a nice car and it was apparent they could afford it easily. Needless to say they didn’t get a discount, we never do that. They also never signed up because they wanted the membership on their terms and I don’t do that either, ever. To me this was rude, disrespectful behavior but I can’t blame the parent for it…I have to blame the fact that they have no idea what martial arts is about to begin with. No matter how much we try to educate a potential student on the incredible value of the training they are getting for $69 a month sometimes you just have to walk away from them and let it go. Not everyone needs to be in my dojo either as there is a harmony that takes place during the training I am not willing to sacrifice to please a few over the good of the group. Over the years I have cancelled student’s memberships and asked them to find someplace else to train too. Why? Because it was apparent they had serious self-centered issues and no matter how much I tried to help them they were never going to change. It is really sad when I have had to do so because of the parents having bad attitudes as well…which I have done.

So what is the value of martial arts then? Well, quite simply, there is NOTHING out there like a good martial arts program. Our program can take the quite, shy kid who is bullied and turn them into a successful college graduate with a bright future. It can take the weak, skinny kid with no athletic ability and turn them into a top star on the football,basketball, baseball or other teams. It can take the loud, ego filled jerk and humble them to learn how to treat others and grow as a person. Our program can help people of all ages gain health benefits that they would have to pay 10 other programs to get all in one setting. It will take that person who has quit everything in their life and help them understand the meaning of commitment. There is nothing out there that can offer the inner peace of mind, body and spirit like martial arts training either. So in short the training we offer is INVALUABLE, that means you can’t put a price on it in reality so for $69 a month they are getting something PRICELESS!

I was that shy kid. I had no athletic ability. The martial arts made me a star athlete. It made me confident and I excelled at everything I tried to do because I learned the power of indomitable spirit. The martial arts training I have received is stellar. It was not some broke down hobby training in a dump of a school where the instructor showed up sometimes. It was professional, top notch and I sought out the most qualified to learn from. It was not cheap but was worth every single penny and sacrifice I made. My students deserve the absolute best in martial arts so I have always been willing to make that sacrifice and spend what was needed to make sure they get it. It is the same as being a parent…we make the sacrifices to make our kid’s lives better…being a martial arts instructor is no different.

So the next time someone comes into my dojo and scoffs at the $69 per month fee I am going to hand them this and asked them to read it because, in all honesty, I am tired of people thinking they know better than me on the value of what I teach and do. I know the value and so has the other over 2,000 people I have been blessed with teaching. Guess they will just miss out on it because they are cheap…but then again isn’t that always the case with those people? Yes…it is.

Have I ever lost a fight...yes :)

The other day I overheard one of my younger students proclaiming that I am the world's best because I have never lost a fight. Although I appreciated their sentiment I had to let them know that I have, in fact, lost a few in my lifetime. Now I am not counting the countless times I lost in tournaments but rather real life situations where I had to defend myself. When I told my young aspiring some day black belt that I had lost in a real fight before their jaw just sort of dropped and you could see they didn't like that.

I went on to explain that everyone can be defeated at anytime and the more you get into fights the more likely you will be defeated no matter how much training you have. I also said that if the only reason a student respects me is because I can fight then I don't actually need that student because fighting is easy...perfecting the martial arts and living a balanced life is not. To this I got the response "then why train for so long Sensei". Now that question is more one that I like. The easy answer is because I know the martial arts are about living a productive and successful lifestyle as much as they are about self defense. I train because I love the arts but there is a mentality that I have that if I do get beaten I train harder and get better to avoid it in the future.

Unfortunately I have had my share of fights in my life time. Only once have I ever started a fight with anyone...and for a good reason. Many of these occured because of decisions I made to work in security at local bars when I was younger or because some idiot wanted to test my Karate skills but I have walked away from 100x more fights than I have ever been in because I, in all honesty, have nothing to prove by beating some random bloke up. I never got into Karate to be some movie style super human idiot who defeats everyone that steps to them but I will defend myself if someone tries to harm me. As I sit and think about the fights I did lose almost every single time it was because I allowed my emotions to get the better of me and instead of using my head I stuck it out as a target LOL.

Regardless I am glad that I did lose those fights because I learned some valuable lessons...such as getting hit causes pain that lasts quite awhile LOL and more. Today I just randomly smile and walk away from people that want to "prove" how much greater they are at fighting than I am. Why? Because I have nothing to prove people that think fighting solves anything and I teach my students not to use their skills unless they absolutely have to. I don't think I would be to good of a Sensei if I was out getting in fights or spending my evenings in bars being drunk so I chose to live what I preach...if a student doesn't like that then they really don't have any need to train with me because I expect all my students to learn discipline, control, focus and respect for others as well as their own selves. 

So yes I have lost fights. Yes I have walked away from fighting. Yes I could care less how tough someone thinks I am...and yes I am totally content with that :)

How to Train Martial Arts...

For some reason people today join martial arts and feel that they only need to train when in the dojo or have a Sensei hand walk you through the requirements and skill sets. This type of attitude leads only to one pathway…failure. Let me explain further using both experiences in my past as well as experiences I have teaching for the last 20 years.

When I began training classes were twice a week and were two hours long. Training was tough and the Sensei was more strict than modern dojo as well as we were demanded only the absolute best on each punch, kick or Kata we did. Anything else led to a lot of push up practice. I can remember Sensei leading Kata class. We would be ran through a Kata two to three times and then told to go practice on our own. About the only thing that was actually led consistently was when we did the basics or when we would do Kumite. Even when it came to self-defense we would be guided through it two to three times and then split up to go work with a partner to get right. The Sensei would walk around the dojo correcting our movements or giving us suggestions on what we had to do to improve everything to black belt level quality. As we moved up in rank self-study times such as this increased and it was only the students who actually showed up to dojo early, or stayed after class to train that moved up in rank beyond brown belt. It was not uncommon to see students in full Gi and Obi (uniform and belt) in the dojo during open times on Saturdays working out on their own or with a class mate.

I remember when I got to brown belt all the other brown belts would get together to work out on Saturdays. It was a great feeling to be asked to show up which I always did. There were plenty of brown belts that never did though and not a single one of them ever made it black belt…not one.

Since I began teaching on my own in 1992 (running my own dojo) I have witnessed a steady decline in the self-discipline people put forth when they join a martial arts dojo. It seems everyone thinks if they simply “show up” to classes they “deserve” to move up in rank. I have a lot of students with great capabilities that could have become black belts but they were lazy in their training or tried to skate by with acting like they were training. Regardless one of the reasons I use belt exams is to actually TEST a student to see if they are truly training and understanding the materials being taught in the dojo. It is very clear when a student is not practicing or preparing for the belt exam because they do not do good enough to pass it.

It used to be that I would show a student a Kata three or four times and they would work it until they had the basics of it down. We would then work on it to help them get better at it. Today if you are not teaching the Kata by numbers and stepping the students through it they don’t even try to get it. This bothers me because, unlike them, I have had to use my skills in real life situations and I know that had I trained this way I would not be here today for certain. Part of Karate training is about disciplining yourself to train…even when you don’t want to. To go above and beyond the normalcy of life and step in the excellent. You have to push yourself hard and harder or you quite simply will fail. So here is my advice to all you aspiring students out there:

1. When a Sensei tells you something, corrects you or shows you something don’t just stand there and nod yes. Work it until you think you may have it and then show the Sensei so we can help you get better at it. This what a Sensei loves…seeing a student’s desire to excel and improve.
2. Whenever you can make it to the dojo to train…even when a class is not going on. The extra effort you put into your training will be the absolute difference between being able to use the skills you are learning and failing in a real self-defense situation and in life. We are very fortunate today that most schools have open mat time…take advantage of it…after all you pay tuition so get the most out of it you can.
3. When you feel like you want to quit training is when you MUST go to classes. This is an absolute in anything in life. The only way to get over the quitting bug is to not do it and to FORCE yourself to achieve. A Sensei is not there to hold your hand and most good Sensei will not. If you don’t show the self-discipline to train and improve you deserve to be ignored. We teach Karate…not do babysitting.
4. Set realistic goals each week. A lot of people just show up and go through the moves in classes. Each week you should start off with a new goal. For example “this week I am going to learn my new kata” or “this week I am going make my stances better” and then focus on that goal. Simple and realistic goal setting such as this improves the overall goal of not only earning a black belt but it will make you an excellent one to boot.
5. Quit making excuses or blaming your failures on others. If you show up unprepared for classes it is your own fault…no one else. Always be prepared is important if you want to be successful in life as well as in a real self-defense situation. When someone is trying to harm you making excuses means you get HARMED.
6. MAKE TIME TO TRAIN. Schedule your class days as Karate days and they are not bendable for anything except emergencies. Pick at least two class days a week that you WILL go to the dojo no matter what unless an emergency comes up. People who do this and do not just show up randomly are 10 times more successful than others at learning the martial arts.
7. Make time to work on your skills outside of the dojo. Since many people are very busy these days and cannot often make it to open mat time at the dojo you should pick a 30 minute interval twice a week where you will study what you are learning that week in the dojo. Do not use this if you miss classes though…you need to make up that class.
8. Push yourself and when your Sensei is pushing you harder give it all you got. All the best black belts have a saying of “leave it all on the mat” which means to give it everything you have each class. Sweat, strain, work hard, struggle and put it all into your training…no exceptions. This is the only way to improve in Karate. Giving half effort leads to ultimate failure and failure cannot be an option.
9. Remember that every single person who has earned a black belt including your Sensei has gone through the same emotions and feelings you are experiencing. We have all wanted to quit at some time. We have all felt like crap sometime. We have all felt like we couldn’t get it right at some time. The only difference is we followed the above advice and trained to get better realizing that only quitters fail and we would not allow ourselves to be quitters.
10. Face every single fear you have no matter what. A good Sensei will know your fears and eventually you will be required to face them. If you are afraid to Kumite a certain person in the dojo you can rest assured that your Sensei will keep paring you up with that person…not to get you to quit but to help you get better and overcome the fear. Overcoming fear is as big a part of earning a black belt as is learning how to throw a great front kick.

In closing keep these in mind and print them out. Go back to them over and over again to remind yourself how to train and then improve each class. It is tough but it is the tough that makes it great. Anyone can earn a black belt…but not everyone will make it to black belt…you can either be one of the greats who put in the work or just another space on the mat. I think the only answer is clear. Good luck and remember what you learn in the dojo will improve your life outside of the dojo :)